My Days Are Numbered

Last night, at Queen Sirikit’s Botanical garden in Chiang Mai, a candlelight vigil was held for the late King Bhumibol Adulyadej. Out of respect for the Thai people, we attended. It’s not often one has a firsthand experience mourning the loss of a beloved leader. The experience itself was quite lovely with around 35,000 people in attendance. Songs were sung and speeches were made for the beloved king, and then 35,000 candles were lit in his memory. The sight of so many candles against the foggy nighttime sky was beautiful. He is not my king, but in that moment, I too felt the loss and heartache of the country.

The one thing no person can beat is death. At some point, we reach the total number of days we were given on earth. From the moment we’re born, we’re on our way to our graves. I’m not trying to be dark and grim; it’s just the reality of life. My days are numbered.

It’s not that I’m thinking about when I die, however, that thought is somewhere in the backburner of my mind (but not in a Lydia Deetz kind of way), it’s what I am doing with my life before my time is up that has been consuming my thoughts and decisions. At some point, I will be standing in front of Jesus, giving an account for the use of my time and I want to be able to say, “I used everything, every talent, every skill, and every opportunity you gave me. There’s nothing left.”

At least, that’s what my heart desires.

I used to baffle at Christian songs that sang about the Lord leading the way, lighting the path, and it giving guidance. Maybe in biblical times, when he was a pillar of fire and smoke, but with no real relationship and living in the 21^st century, I couldn’t understand how God could lead the way now. Do I just open up the bible like a magic 8 ball and hope the answer I want appears on the page? Are clues left, like omens, around for me to decipher? Do I hear a booming voice telling me where to go? I’d be lying if I didn’t try or expect any of those things to happen (and they didn’t). I didn’t understand that a relationship with him is the first step into him leading me and through my relationship he guides me to opportunities and decisions that honor him. There still aren’t bible pages opened to answers, or clues left around, or booming voices, but there is the gentle whisper that leads to peace or conviction. There are gentle nudge to yes or no. There are times of silence and no answers and I can’t boast that every prayer or request was answered or met. I am still waiting for answers to prayers prayed years ago.

There’s a healthy fear of wanting to get “it” right, of wanting to make the right decisions; what to major in in college, where to work, who to marry, how to raise the kids, how to spend your time wisely, and so on. But if you’re not living your life for Christ, none of that matters.

I want to know that every decision I make was guided by the Lord. I want to know that every opportunity that knocked on my door was answered with a servant’s heart. I want to know that when the Lord called me higher and deeper, I let him lead me.

I want Jesus to look at me and say, “You did well, my good and faithful servant.” These are my thoughts when I think about how much time is left for me. 

What do you think about?

The week I taught teachers in Bangkok.

First and foremost, thank you to everyone who prayed for me when I asked for support! I truly felt at peace during my week in Bangkok. With only a few days notice before flying down to teach about 150 Thai teachers, everything went smoothly. God is so good.

Many people want to know how this happened and since everything happened so quickly and I was very busy all week preparing and teaching, I didn’t have much time to go into detail so here we go!

About a week and a half ago, I was asked by the Coordinator of The Bureau of Personal Competency Development to be a speaker for the English Language Proficiency Development for Teachers of Office of the Vocational Education Commission (OVEC) seminar that was held last week in Bangkok. I assume that the original speaker backed out and they were desperate for someone to fill in (insert me). One of the Thai board of directors for Remember Nhu has connections with the Thai government and knew about the government’s need and that we had an English teacher on staff in Chiang Mai, so she contacted my boss. My boss asked me if I would be interested, that it would help our organization in the eyes of the government because not only are we concerned for the wellbeing of our children but also the country itself. So I said yes. The next few days were full of researching, PowerPoint creating, activity gathering chaos. Hence why I needed prayers. I could feel stress and anxiety trying to break through the surface of my ability to work under pressure and knew once I let those emotions overwhelm me, I wouldn’t be able to function properly to complete my work by the deadline, Sunday morning. So thank you to everyone who prayed because I never once felt overwhelmed! I was able to speak to the coordinator and ask what was expected of me, what I should teach, how long a session lasts, how many students I would be teaching, where I’d teach and when I should be in Bangkok. That’s where I found out I would be teaching 150 students in four group sessions Monday-Thursday with Friday being the closing ceremony. The teachers I would be educating scored low on the Common European Framework of Reference for Languages (CEFR) exam and were receiving additional support to improve English speaking and teaching skills in the classroom.

It wasn’t that I was stressed out about the information of what I was teaching, it was more that I wasn’t sure how to put it together, what activities to provide, and how I could present the information resulting in teachers being engaged with the language and cultural barrier between us. As I planned my seminar, I tried to incorporate as many Thai cultural examples along with American cultural examples as well, the birthing of a Pokémon themed presentation, which worked out impressively well because my students found my teaching sessions amusing and entertaining. Having taught English for 2 years now in Thailand and being an educator for 5, I’ve gained some experience and resources I was excited to share with my fellow educators.

The week went by so quickly! Each session I taught was full of jokes and games. I never had to take a photo because all my students were snapping candid and action shots of me, some of which I hope never surface the internet.

At the end of the week long seminar the closing ceremony was held, where each of the four groups had to reenact one teacher. One group (my favorite one…I hope the other three groups don’t read this blog!) did a Pikachu dance in honor of my Pokémon themed presentation. It was thoughtful and completely awesome. Since then I have made over 50 new friends on Facebook and am excited hear about my new teacher friends classroom endeavors. 

This is definitely an experience that I will look back on very fondly. 

A New Home and A Traveling Library

This week was bittersweet for one of our girl’s homes. We have officially moved all four homes in the Chiang Mai area onto the same property! The girls had to say goodbye to the home they’ve lived in for many years but the excitement of being on the same land with their friends from the other homes quickly erased any sad thoughts they had. It reminded me of when I was 15 and my family moved from Miami to Daytona. I didn’t want to leave the house I grew up in, but I trusted my parents and there was excitement about a new home, a new start. I think the girls feel the same way.

All last week, furniture from the home was moved piece by piece but Monday was the final move. While the children were in school, American and Thai staff worked together to move the remaining belongings of the girls, drawers of clothes, kitchen appliances and utensils, bookshelves, computers and the like. I brought my camera to document the process and the guys were definitely not camera shy! They made silly faces as they moved the heavy stuff. One of the house moms (who loves to put me to work) avoided me at all cost because I kept taking pictures of her. Every time she approached me to task me with a chore, I held my camera to my eye and she would flee from me. I don’t think she realized I was foiling her plan of giving me chores. Clever or lazy, I got out of heavy lifting.

Around noon, we all sat together and ate pumpkin curry, fried wontons (with hot dogs in the middle), and hotdogs and pork meatballs. I don’t understand this country’s obsession with hotdogs and pork meatballs, but they love it. It was nice to sit and enjoy each other’s company. We talked about foods we like and dislike, practiced English conversation, and of course Pokémon Go. Yes, the craze has reached the land of smiles and we are all participants. We talked about which Pokémon we’ve captured and the best places for Poké stops. It was fun to just be goofy with each other. 

The man who created all this from nothing, P. Ton

After lunch we did some last minute rearranging of beds and tables and then we were free to go home for a few hours before coming back to share a house warming dinner and the house mom’s birthday. When we came back to the home around 5:30 the girls were buzzing with excitement. The younger girls were outside chasing each other while the older girls were personalizing their sleeping areas. At 6 o’clock on the dot, the girls were in line to share their first meal in their new home together. As the girls ate, they talked about what it would be like to attend a new school, what they would do with their friends now that they all lived on the same property, and how they would sleep the first night in their new home. Once the birthday cake was brought out, the party really started. Girls were giggly and laughing as they shoveled pieces of chocolate cake and ice cream into their mouths. I would’ve taken way more pictures of them eating dessert if I wasn’t too busy shoving cake and ice cream into my mouth too.  

The next night, I visited one of our boy’s homes. A Jesus Church from Portland donated a small group set of Leapfrog pens and a few other churches donated tons of children’s books that are being collected for a future library (if you know me you know how much I love books and how much this excites me). As a child, I’ve always loved books. I especially loved used books. Whenever my mom would take me to a thrift store, I would always head over to the book section and thumb through copies upon copies of books, titles just waiting to be read again. Even as an adult, I still find myself going to thrift stores and combing through their book selection to see if there are any books I must have. Since we don’t have an actual library room for our children yet, I am acting as a traveling library. I brought over some science books and the Leapfrog pens to the boys home and discussed how libraries in America are different from libraries in Thailand. They were surprised to learn that in America, we have libraries outside of schools that anyone with a library card can access. We discussed the importance of respecting and taking care of the books because these books cannot be repurchased in Thailand. Naturally the boys flocked to the Leapfrog pens. It was adorable hearing them repeat English words they were listening to like, “Woody. Is. Helping. His. Friend. Buzz” and “Ozzie. Was. Very. Happy.” Around 7:30 I started to pack up the books so the boys could wind down and get ready for bed and I was asked how soon I could return with the books.  

As the weeks continue, it’s my goal for each home to experience the traveling library and for each child to fall in love with books the way I have. I believe bringing these books into the homes will also help further the children’s ability to learn and speak English fluently.

Until next time!