Back to Normal November

Last month was Remember Nhu’s 10 year celebration and fall break for our children. It was a month full of activities, visitors, and hopefully some relaxation. During school breaks, if it's possible, students go back home to their villages to spend time with family and friends. It’s a great opportunity for our children to share their experiences and testimonies. Through word of mouth, children in these villages who are at risk could find protection with us.

Now that November is here, life is back to normal. Students are back in school, Saturday’s mornings are filled with English classes and other extracurricular activities and the traveling library visits different homes during the week. Last Saturday was the first English camp since the end of September and I was so excited at how many students showed up!

Walking into my classroom, students were seated and waiting patiently for class to begin. Since there was a month break, we reviewed basic conversations learned during our previous classes. Of course my students were shy and it took a little encouragement to get them to share, but once one student shared others wanted to prove they could converse as well. Thai students love a healthy competition. After conversation practice, we played plenty of board and card games. As I walked around facilitating, I was in awe at how much English my students were using, unprompted by the interns and myself. The students were so eager to practice their English they didn’t wait around for us to initiate conversation. Students were laughing with and at each other and helping each other with pronunciation. It’s moments like these that make my entire week.

I also visited some of the homes during the week, bringing the library books with me. The moment the children see the Leap Frog pens they get all hyped up. Some of the children were using the pens to quiz themselves and each other on vocabulary words. Others just enjoyed a story being read to them, even if it was in a foreign language. It’s a sweet feeling, spending time with these children, listening to them laugh and argue with each other. These homes truly feel like homes. The relationships they have with each other are endearing and familial. They work together, play together, eat together, sleep together, and depend on one another. It’s a bond that I have the privilege of being a part of. When I enter any of the homes and hear my name being called out, I’m overcome with love and homesickness because they don’t see me as a ship passing through the night but as a cog in the machine of their daily lives. There is a sense of safety and trust that can only be built with time that I will always carry in my heart. It’s no wonder anyone who comes to visit our homes in Thailand falls in deep love with the children, community, and culture here. How can you not be captured by these faces?

(Pretending to be dinosaurs)

(Learning about SnapChat)

This week was Loy Krathong, the lantern festival, where one pays respect to the goddess of the water. We drove downtown to people watch as locals and tourists set sail lantern boats in the river and paper lanterns in the sky. Watching the orange glow of the lanterns float up and disappear into the deep hue of the purple sky was spectacular, just like the last three Loy Krathongs I had the opportunity to witness.

                                     

(Yes, this is a Pikachu lantern.)

As the month continues, we’ll be blessing the Thai staff with our annual Thanksgiving lunch. Unfortunately, turkey prices have sky rocketed (almost $120 for a small turkey!) and this will be my first Thanksgiving without any turkey. I am deeply heartbroken but there will be sweet potato casseroles and green bean casseroles, so not all hope is lost. And well, right after Thanksgiving, Christmas will be right around the corner, then 2017, and before I know it my birthday, then Easter, and summer. And just like that life moves on so quickly. 

My Days Are Numbered

Last night, at Queen Sirikit’s Botanical garden in Chiang Mai, a candlelight vigil was held for the late King Bhumibol Adulyadej. Out of respect for the Thai people, we attended. It’s not often one has a firsthand experience mourning the loss of a beloved leader. The experience itself was quite lovely with around 35,000 people in attendance. Songs were sung and speeches were made for the beloved king, and then 35,000 candles were lit in his memory. The sight of so many candles against the foggy nighttime sky was beautiful. He is not my king, but in that moment, I too felt the loss and heartache of the country.

The one thing no person can beat is death. At some point, we reach the total number of days we were given on earth. From the moment we’re born, we’re on our way to our graves. I’m not trying to be dark and grim; it’s just the reality of life. My days are numbered.

It’s not that I’m thinking about when I die, however, that thought is somewhere in the backburner of my mind (but not in a Lydia Deetz kind of way), it’s what I am doing with my life before my time is up that has been consuming my thoughts and decisions. At some point, I will be standing in front of Jesus, giving an account for the use of my time and I want to be able to say, “I used everything, every talent, every skill, and every opportunity you gave me. There’s nothing left.”

At least, that’s what my heart desires.

I used to baffle at Christian songs that sang about the Lord leading the way, lighting the path, and it giving guidance. Maybe in biblical times, when he was a pillar of fire and smoke, but with no real relationship and living in the 21^st century, I couldn’t understand how God could lead the way now. Do I just open up the bible like a magic 8 ball and hope the answer I want appears on the page? Are clues left, like omens, around for me to decipher? Do I hear a booming voice telling me where to go? I’d be lying if I didn’t try or expect any of those things to happen (and they didn’t). I didn’t understand that a relationship with him is the first step into him leading me and through my relationship he guides me to opportunities and decisions that honor him. There still aren’t bible pages opened to answers, or clues left around, or booming voices, but there is the gentle whisper that leads to peace or conviction. There are gentle nudge to yes or no. There are times of silence and no answers and I can’t boast that every prayer or request was answered or met. I am still waiting for answers to prayers prayed years ago.

There’s a healthy fear of wanting to get “it” right, of wanting to make the right decisions; what to major in in college, where to work, who to marry, how to raise the kids, how to spend your time wisely, and so on. But if you’re not living your life for Christ, none of that matters.

I want to know that every decision I make was guided by the Lord. I want to know that every opportunity that knocked on my door was answered with a servant’s heart. I want to know that when the Lord called me higher and deeper, I let him lead me.

I want Jesus to look at me and say, “You did well, my good and faithful servant.” These are my thoughts when I think about how much time is left for me. 

What do you think about?