The "Moment"

This weekend marks the end of week three here in Thailand. I won't lie, I had a moment the other day where I was just fed up. Although the weather here is fairly similar to Florida, (hot, humid, and sometimes unbearable) I just couldn't handle what was on my plate at that given moment.

It was Wednesday afternoon and I hadn't slept well the night before because we lost power two nights in a row. The first night was Monday, around 11 P.M, which was a bummer because I couldn't finish the ending to Hook (even though I've seen it a thousand times). Of course the power came back on moments before I drifted off to sleep and woke up to the A/C, lights, and TV kicking back on all at the same time. The next night (Tuesday) the power went out again, this time at 8 P.M. Now I'm annoyed because 1) I haven't showered 2) I was in the middle of lesson planning for the following morning and couldn't prepare anything (I didn't plan to procrastinate! We ended up going to the market and that was an all day event) 3) We set up camp in the living room because it was way to hot to sleep up stairs in our rooms and 4) I thought I turned off all the lights in the house so that when the power did come on it wouldn't jolt us awake (I actually did the opposite. I turned on every light, so when power came back on every thing in the house woke us up). 

We didn't get power back until about 11:30 P.M (almost 4 hrs later) and at that point I am exhausted, un-showered, and irritated that I'm going to have to wake up even earlier to make the materials for my lesson. 

**We lose power because of rain storms and strong winds, it has something to do with the wires not being stable or done correctly, I don't know. All I know is wind=bad. **

Of course, as I'm drifting off to sleep, the power wakes me up and now I'm laying restlessly in bed until 12:30, with a 5:30 A.M wake up call. Most of my teacher friends can probably relate to the anxiety caused by unfinished lesson plans the day of a lesson. Needless to say, I was not on my A game Wednesday. The lack of sleep and showering had me all messed up. I forgot I was teaching certain students 2 hours instead of 1, I didn't have all my materials together, the house I was teaching at had no power (which means no fans for hot Thailand), and coffee was not keeping me awake. 

*Remember the second sentence in this post, where I mention my moment? Here it is*

While using this 6x6 room that's considered a bathroom, with a sink that wasn't working, I was tired. Tired of not being able to flush toilet paper down the toilet. Tired because driving in the States is so natural to me but fills me with anxiety here. Tired of the anxiety of hitting a mo-ped driver. Tired of not having hot water in the kitchen. Tired of not being able to read all the labels in the market. Tired of not having my American products readily available, like Ajax/Comet, a 3 hole puncher, and Yogi tea. Tired of selling my soul for cheese. Tired that my knee isn't healing quickly. Tired that the power goes out so easily and takes forever to come back on. And tired that I'm not "home". 

And I think these "tired" moments came quicker than I expected because I jumped right into working my second week in a new country. It wasn't a bad thing, it's actually been keeping me busy and helping me feel like I have a purpose, but the feeling of being a tourist ended quickly.

Then when I was done mentally complaining to myself, I opened my eyes to this:

Bo and Kua

It may not seem like anything special, but the gentleman on the left said he would never learn English, that we would have to learn Thai if we wanted to communicate with him. And yet here he was, working hard on the assignment I had given him. The assignment I woke up at 5:30 to create. 

I stopped mentally complaining. I felt embarrassed because in the grand scheme of things, I am blessed to be able to give my time, knowledge, and resources to help someone else better themselves. I looked at that picture and everything I was annoyed at became unimportant. I knew that moving to the other side of the world wouldn't be easy, but when I think about all these things that frustrate me, these are things that will become a normal way of living once I've becomed accustomed. Yes, I may have given up many luxuries of America, like central a/c, automatic cars, and Belgian waffles (few posts back), but I've gained new things, like views like these--that remind me how big God is:

and I've gained a new family, that welcomed me immediately into their homes and hearts:

RNhu house parents & house workers, RNhu Thailand Team,
All the Thai's in this picture are learning English with me.

There's something magical about how green Thailand is, how the mountains can be viewed from almost every angle, and how you can get a great lunch for less than two bucks! 

Soon enough I will be in the full swing of things, swerving in and out of traffic on my moto, driving like a pro in the truck, understanding what Thai's are saying, being able to read the labels, not caring that I can't flush toilet paper down the toilet, and in still and complete awe that I am on the other side of the world. Soon.